David Allan Coe – Damn I Wish I Was A Nigger Lyrics

if i was a nigger…i could drive a cadillac with class

my pocket stuffed with welfare checks, and i could sit

on my big black ass

now you take a nigger, he aint nobody’s fool, he

doesn’t buy any gasoline to drive his kids to school

damn i wish i was a nigger

our government has gone crazy, id change things if i

could

if i was only a nigger, i could afford to live in a

white neighborhood

oh the things that i could do, if i was black and hell

bent

i could send my kids to college, and it wouldn’t cost

me one damn cent

damn i wish i was a nigger

the wife and i were down on our luck, we were really

getting uptight

they said at the welfare office, you aint black you’re

white

oh how I’ve tried to get a job, a diploma i had with

pride

the post office man laughed and said youre not dark

enough to even qualify

damn i wish i was a nigger

i took a civil service exam, and passed it without

shame

a nigger took one next to me, and he couldnt even write

his own name

the nigger, he got the job, now he’s government top ?

prass?

he couldn’t qualify for a trash truck, I’m out on the

street on my ass

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a Jesse Jackson, id be nobody’s slob

wearin $500.00 dollar suits, that nigger hasn’t even

got a job

if i was Jackson Brown, i could sit back and relax

and if elected president, could paint the white house

black

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a jig-a-boo, i could find me my roots

with a afro big as a watermelon, and a pair of white

disco boots

if i was only dark complexioned, i could stand tall in

this life

i could eat high off the hog, just me and my white wife

damn i wish i was a nigger

things are supposed to be segregated, but things are a

little off key

I’ve never seen a white man, head…of the NAACP

it aint that i don’t like a nigger, if I’ve rubbed you

wrong by chance

take a look at that mistletoe, hanging on the seat of

my pants

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a kinky top, i could be a Martin Luther King

id have me a vision on a mountain top, my song the

whole world would sing

i could have me a peace march, on the streets of

Memphis, Tennessee

i could tare up the whole damn city, and the police

wouldn’t dare stop me

damn i wish i was a nigger

a lot of things in life i know, but one thing i cant

figure

why a nigger can call me a honkey, and i cant call a

nigger a nigger

if i was a jungle bunny, i could ring a golden bell

i could be a Mohammed Ali, and be loved by Howard

Coozell

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a you-bangy, 7 foot tall and lean

i could be a famous player, on the Washington

basketball team

if i was only chocolate brown, i could have me some

turnip greens

a possum fat an watermelon, chitlens and a pot of

butter beans

damn i wish i was a nigger

now when Martin Luther King, was buried in Washington

with class

face down in his box, so the politicians could kiss his

ass

i guess its just politics, and it sure gets my goat

kiss assin with a nigger, just to get his vote

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was only a ?birdhead?, id live high on the hill

sellin cocaine and prostitutes, and poppin all kinds of

pills

now take the NAACP, they can march and raise all kinds

of hell

let the KKK start to move, and they’ll all wind up in

jail

damn i wish i was a nigger

i dreamed my life was over, i heard saint peter say

today we’re taken on the niggers, you’ve gotta go

the..other way

then i heard the devil, he said i heard what peter had

to say

but I’m sorry to tell you son, today in hell…is

nigger day

damn don’t you wish you were a nigger

I’m going back to the hills of Arkansas, where they

don’t have those not damn one sided nigger peace

marches

protesters, welfare check grabbers, I’m gon’ plant me

some turnip greens in a watermelon patch

raise me a hog, and a big fat possum

i said yes i am you mother